Minding the Shifts, However Small

What does it look like for you to go in the direction that would bring you joy? That which would give you purpose again? What does it look like for you to wake up and realize you are exactly where you want to be? What does it look like to create again for yourself? To create for the sake of creation? To be in a space that held meaning for you. What does it look like to move through this current path you are on without a hidden purpose, a hidden intention, or a hidden motive? 

I hear so often about being intentional, being purposeful, but lately it all sounds like white noise because I sense the intention and motive behind the message and it's to sell something. A program. A digital product. A physical product. Mindfulness, purposefulness, intentionality-- it's all so transactional, commoditized, and capitalized. I am so tired of it. And I realize I've been a player in this game that I've always been hesitant to play. But I play the game because I've been fooled into believing you must play to survive.

What if I don't want to just survive though? As someone who is very aware of how precious time is and how temporary this one life we have now is, I forgot to ask myself "Is this worth your time? Is this worth trading your precious moments for?" 

And I realize, I have a choice. You always have a choice. I can choose to not play the game. I can choose to go in the direction where the wind feels fresh, crisp, clear. I can choose to go against the crowd and forge my own path which is less traveled, but it brings me joy and most of all peace. And that's the beauty I have forgotten about. That all of this, first and foremost, must feed and nourish my soul and spirit. If all of this radiates out from me and I am not experiencing sparks, then what's the point? How can I expect to light the way if I feel so dimmed and diminished from the current way I am operating?

I can also choose to share the journey in however I feel or see fit. It doesn't have to look like a certain way. None of this does. There is no blueprint to follow, I am realizing that I can write and craft this and make my own way however I want. 

So, this is the shifts within that is happening in my life right now and I am paying attention. The shifts are small, but for once, I am standing still and listening. Not just going through the actions of stillness and listening but really saying out loud to myself "let's be still and let's just notice and let's just be." 

Cover Image: Josep Maria Casals, "Under an Ever-Changing Sky", (1901 - 1986), Spanish