Mind Your Own Home

"You are not blocked. You are full. Crammed with unprocessed emotion, unmetabolized failure, and old identities still whispering in your ear. Creation requires emptiness. That’s why monks sweep the floor before meditation. Clear space - inside and out - and the muse will have somewhere to land." - Khadaura

As usual, many things are happening in all the different streams of life. Sometimes they run into one another, so it is important for me to keep the river flowing clean. In a previous post I talked about spending this month exploring the 7 Pillars of Self Care and while I haven't been POSTING that much about it, I am actively living it in real life, which to me, is MUCH more important. 

Recently, I was faced with a situation that made me realize some people really do see the world around them in black and white. And some people really do make so many assumptions about others because of what they can and cannot see on their social media. What made me sad about this situation is how quickly people can judge someone because of things as shallow as social media. Yikes!

I am not entirely sure where I'm going with this post, other than I've been in a cleaning, tidying, rooting through the debris kind of mood and just going back through halls and rooms (metaphorically and physically speaking) and CLEANING out what is no longer serving me. Sometimes the serve is supposed to make you feel uncomfortable. I know, kind of a hot take, but there you have it. Like for example, the news. Yes, knowing is uncomfortable. What isn't serving me is reading people's uninformed opinions about the news. So, this is what I mean by cleaning out. Block, mute, "not interested". 

Last week I scrubbed our entire bathroom. Including the ceiling. Yes, the ceiling! I wiped down and dusted every single object. I went through all of my products and threw away anything that was expired, expiring, things I didn't like the smell of, products that didn't work for me. As someone who grew up really poor and also sustainability always on the forefront of my mind (without being annoyingly preachy about it), it absolutely PAINED me to throw away products. I mean, I grew up with a Filipino immigrant mother who would add water to the Pantene shampoo bottle to extend the amount. There was a lot of water adding/diluting in my household growing up. The lesson learned here is I will no longer be buying beauty products until I have used up everything I already own, and I will no longer be persuaded to try new products because of influencers on social media. 

I have noticed in recent months how minding my own home (i.e. the pillars of self-care) has allowed me to become a much more awake human being lately. Not in a political woke way, that's different, but more present with EVERYTHING. Work, business, home, love, friendships, relationships, past, now, and future. Not that things are perfectly mapped out or that I have an answer, but minding my own home has me better equipped to face and live life. To show up to live this life in this time I am given and to be awake. 

Clear out things, people, thoughts, whatever it is you need to do so you can focus on your home. Stop focusing on other people and what they're doing. Stop trying to figure other people out. Why do you care? Mind your own home first, mind your own healing first, mind your own thoughts and feelings first. Sit with the discomfort. Sit with your shadows. Sit with yourself that is selfish, greedy, self-important, ego-driven, and honestly probably a jerk. Sit in stillness and pay attention to whatever vibrates through you. Sit with this version of yourself that makes you uncomfortable. There is A LOT of buildup behind the facade. Lots of things you may not even have the awareness (yet) to deal with. That's why the quote above resonated so deeply. "You are not blocked. You are full. Crammed with unprocessed emotion, unmetabolized failure, and old identities still whispering in your ear."

Small acts of self-care, the surface level things are nice, but they're shallow. The real care and keeping of yourself comes when the surface level things start to uncover and unlock the buried dirt underneath and you can recognize them. What you do next shows your growth and willingness to evolve.

Cover Image: František Kobliha – A sheet from the “Tristan” series c. 1909